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Fittingly in a day that saw the snake, Antonio Conte, and his Inter squad crowned champions of Italy, the most disappointing Juventus team in over a decade I never thought this day would come that I would say something (to me) that is so sacrilegious, but Andrea Pirlo has thoroughly failed this club….. I wrote the beginnings of this intro long before the final ten minutes of the match arrived and Ronaldo pulled the save of all saves to keep Juventus in the top four of the league. But in truth, I stand by it. The teams showed no quality or effort for 90% of the match and it was the efforts of Ronaldo that saved this team’s metaphorical ass. Ronaldo proving he really is Fino Alla Fine today.

Notice: All ratings are calculated through a stringent process utilizing statistics and the eye test called My Opinion and are most certainly incorrect.


Wojciech Szczesny - 5

Tek and the defense took it on the chin early in the match with the Molina score in the 10’, but tightened up for the remainder of the match. That’s great, but the mishap that is quickly becoming a habit of giving up an early score for the opposing team especially in the manner the club did is unacceptable for any keeper of Juventus’ caliber. Tek contributed one save and four accurate long balls.

Danilo Luiz da Silva - 5.5

The Brazilian defender was lucky to miss out on being a part of the party that allowed for the opening score that almost sunk Juventus’ season, but still has the honor of being one of the members of the least enjoyable Juventus teams of the last decade. So congratulations. Danilo contributed two clearances, three interceptions, four tackles, six ground duels won, one accurate long ball, and one successful dribble.

Matthijs De Ligt - 6

De Ligt was doing the most in the 37’ to try to create some sort of score off of the free kick taken by Cuadrado, grabbing possession twice and attempting shots, but almost no other plan or assistance was given by his teammates to create while in threatening range. The Dutchman contributed three clearances, one blocked shot, two interceptions, two tackles, four ground duels won, two aerial duels won, one key pass, one accurate cross, one accurate long balls, one big chance created, one shot blocked, and one successful dribble.

Leonardo Bonucci - 5

The Italian captain was a key piece in the defensive front that allowed for Molina to make the scoring move for goal following a pass delivered by highly touted Udinese prospect Rodrigo De Paul. Bonucci and staff cracked down later in the match, but the damage was already done and Leo had seemingly taken the season out back and shot it Ole Yeller style. Bonucci contributed three clearances, three interceptions, one ground duel won, and five accurate long balls.

Alex Sandro - 5

Sandro was the other main piece of the main guilty parties for the defensive breakdown that allowed for Molina’s early game score that almost crippled the season. Following the breakdown that allowed for the opening score, it was to my surprise that one of the players working hardest to make something positive happen for the lifeless Juventus team was Alex Sandro as he single-handedly drove the ball into the box in the 24’, but was left alone against the Udine defense without support. Sandro contributed one clearance, five interceptions, three tackles, six ground duels won, one aerial duel won, one key pass, five accurate long balls, and three successful dribbles.

Juan Cuadrado - 5.5

Cuadrado found himself threatening in Udinese territory with the opportunity to take a shot in space and decided to throw the whole damn game in the garbage disposal by passing instead and allowing the returning defense to engulf the Juventus offense like a limping calf left for dead by its mother to a pride of lions. That’s the best analogy I can muster for what this club has become. Cuadrado contributed four key passes, one accurate cross, three accurate long balls, one big chance created, four ground duels won, and one interception. Juan Cuadrado was substituted off for Felix Correia in the 84’.